YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFOREHAND;

Nice day indeed. went to school today continuing a legacy of wearing Perdayu shirt on Friday, which was Shah started last year. come to think of it. i do miss Shah. I miss nagging at him for always doing the wrong things at the wrong time. haha.So today there's this like whole black mamba group walking around in a group and since we stand out, some stared at us. oh whatever. haha. cheychey.

went to meet man and gang after school. had a reunion conversation with Miko. which was....pffftttt. GOSH. those stories. you know when you're 14, you do things without thinking ehhhh.haha. but its hilarious to actually remember all those again, really. immature moments which you will look back and fell like slapping yourself multiple times shouting,"WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" but hey. you gotta have some fun in life righttt? i had a quite fair share of mine. hehs. GOD. I MISS THOSE TIMES SO MUCH AH. turn back time please. please.please.pleaseeeeeee. ke zaman silam. hahahaha. i laughed my ass off at them just now because they're super funny. we do pementasan drama for manifest like 2 monhs before, they can do a spontaneous one plus its funny.hahahaha.i actually went to give back man his hoodie which he gave me during my O's to use. i know, dah berzaman siak. and on my way home, man called me when i was in the bus, just to tell me that the jacket smells like me. haha. aper jerr.

i had fun with them, so its sad when there's people who look down on those people that brings so much joy to your life. no, it's frustrating. hehs.

Just got back from schoooool! everyone is in the kecohness mode now because of cca open hse on wed. so yeah. shall update this thing now cuz i know i won't have time to do so later on.lets talk about something interesting. OH.I HAVENT TOLD YOU GUYS ABOUT THE RANDOM MEET UP. haha.

A random last minute meet up that made my day. =) i didn't realise how close i was to him during secondary school, that i think without him, i wouldn't actually grow up to be the person i am now. i remember how we started off in sec 1 when i didn't really know he existed to begin with. Then i don't know how or why, he got my number and smsed me. It was kinda annoying at first, but then he was already making me laugh. i had relationship doubts and he was the one who stayed up to advice me on how bad it will turn out for me, even though it was his own friend we were talking about. i decided to end that relationship and it was a right decision indeed. and then it started from there, we shared stories on crushes, the people we love, those we hate and the random talks on the phone till late at night. He'll just blab about whoever it is that he was in love with, and suprisingly, i listened to all those. haha. MY PHONE GOT CONFISCATED TWICE BECAUSE OF HIM. and he felt damn guilty about it. yay. he'll call at like 3 or 4 in the morning and ask me what i was doing. GILERR KANN. i remember all those lepaking times under the block after school, 461 especially. i started smoking, and he'll nag at me for it. even though he himself do so. he beats up and pick fights with people, but he's one of the good hearted people i've ever met in my life. People looked down on him and his friends so much,especially the express people, and i hate that. i remember once when we had to space out due to some reasons, and babi ah. he actually wanted to pick a fight with me. but that was back then, when he turned into such psycho-mental freak because of a girl. he didn't mean it anyway, and apologised to me straight after he realised things were wrong. and i remembered because it was during hari raya that i received this super long sms from him. it teared me a little, that sincerity. haha. i actually remembered still those awesome awesome moments of sitting under blocks and parks and just laughing our asses off.He made my secondary school days, and was one of my very very close friends whom i shared so many things with. i treasure all those moments actually, because Man is a really really great friend. hey, no matter how crazy and annoying you can get and how far you are now; i'll remember you for sure. kay, im getting mushy all of a sudden, and about Man sumore. wth. but; thank you ehhh. really. ♥

THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE SO FAR; I DESPISE TODAY SO MUCH. Its my fault anyway for trying so hard. but i don't care anymore, because why should i? He throws such promising words at you, this, that,this, that. but his actions doesn't speak for his words. i didn't sleep for a night trying to perfect it. but in the end, insults about it was thrown and the first thing i heard, was "EEEEEE." i don't care if people wanna say that  im being sensitive or whatever. but for 3 years, that's what i've been getting everytime i get him something. its either ''alah'' or ''eeeeee''. and i didn't even know why i kept on trying. because im effing stupid, thats why. i come to realise that what i was hoping for, it's not worth it. If people don't appreciate, then its time for you to back off. well maybe i should. i am.

im really upset. but  looking on the much much brighter side, i have Joe Jonas on the wall to my left. =)

THE. SEX.

kay. lets all take this time to take a deep breath and think for awhile about all those wonderful things in life. awesome friends, lovable family, the special someone that you love so much, great food, nice smelling weather, cute softtoys, (cute soft boys) , all the great sceneries and places created on earth, beautiful paintings, music that gets you moving to the beat, all those good things in life put together in one thought. and then now you will think,

 ''hey. My life isn't so bad after all. in fact, its awesome the way it is. =) "

okay now stop dreaming and back to harsh reality. 2 topical tests cleared. there's maths, SEA hist and sastera to go. all crammed in next week. DAMN. my daily schedule is so far not busy yet. maybe the timetable seems hectic but i know that inserting all those non-curriculum time, things will get crazier. ayunan dewi has MJC performance in around april so we're already starting to prepare for that. i really haven't told mama yet about all these. i don't know what her reaction will be when she finds out that i still have lots and lots of dikir trainings and performances to do. yikes. its okay, we'll see how things goes. but sadly, i can't really promise anything yet. i don't want to leave ayunan dewi behind.

the J1s are coming in soon. i hope, hope, hope, they're just as awesome as us. no minahs wannabe please. im just so sick and tired to entertain all these menggeletis bullshits later. i have no prejudice against minahs or whatsoever. they're nice. but those minahs wannabe, are the ones that sickens me the most. ergh. yucks. kay enough about that.

i don't know why, but im on tagged. i don't understand how people can not know each other and yet, asks numbers in just the first message. HELLO. THIS IS NOT WHAT TECHNOLOGY WAS CREATED FOR. i don't give my numbers to strangers and the most i can say is hello back ahhh. im sorry, call me sombong or whatever. but numbers are kind of personal.and doesn't mean i have a single status,means im available.

SINGLE AND NOT AVAILABLE.  why? because im very very much in love, even though he doesn't realise it. ♥